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Family Guy Sounds

Episode 101 - Pilot Episode

Brian - "...Yes, your judgement lately has been pretty.. well you have crappy judgement anyways."
Peter - "I feel kind of guily I gave Chris his first taste of beer, but you turned out okay, didn't you pal?..."
Peter - "Who wants to play "Drink the Beer"?..."
Peter - "We're officially on Welfare..."
Lois - "....Why don't you burn in Hell!?!...."
Meg - "...We'll never be able to afford my lip injections!"
Stewie - "And now you..."
Stewie - "What are you staring at? It's tuna-fish... and nothing else."
Stewie - "I offer you one last chance for deliverance.. return my mind control device, or be destroyed."
Stewie - "Victory is mine!..."
Stewie - "Damn you and your estrigenical trechory."
Stewie - "Well, Well mother!....We meet again!"
Stewie - "Damn you, vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb!"

Episode 102 - I Never Met the Dead Man

Bigfoot - "...Hey, hey, hey, this isn't about me...it's about you"
Brian - "Whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?"
Sipowitz - "Are you gonna tell me who did it? Or do I have to show you my ass?"
Stewie - "Time to be bad"
Stewie - "...What do you think of that broccoli? Stop mocking me!"
Stewie - "...I already shoot at a 5th grade level"
Stewie - "...Return my mind control device, or be destroyed."
William Shatner - "...Beam me up God"
Willy Wonka - "...Are you sure you didn't eat anything in my factory?..."

Episode 103 - Chitty Chitty Death Bang

Doctor - "...It's a map of Europe!?!"
Chris - "...They have this game where you put in a dollar and you win four quarters..."
Stewie - "Am I supposed to spend the entire day wallowing in my own feces?"
Stewie - "There's treachery a-foot!"
Meg - "I S-U-C K-E-D, sucked, sucked!"
Stewie - "...I've sprouted another finger..."
Girls - "It sure is fun being thin and popular, let's go throw up"
Stewie - "I must prepare..."
Host - "Welcome to Cheesie Charlie's...Heil Hitler!"
Boy - "...Sorry Timmy, you'll need 15 tickets to live"
Host - "...And your choice of ice cream flavor: vannilla, strawberry, chocolate, or people..."
Brian - "*CLAP* *CLAP* Bravo Peter..."
Stewie - "...God help you if I find pickles"
Stewie - "...I'll give you whatever you want: Money, Women... Men?"
Jennifer - ...You didn't tell me that you're mom was like Martha Stewart..."
Brian - "She's a whiny little runt, isn't she? *gasp* I said runt"
Stewie - "...And I don't think you've got the grapes"
Stewie - "...As you spend the next ten years in frozen carbonite!"
Brian - "...If you're going to pull a party out of your ass, you'd better stand up"
Stewie - "...For every sprinkle that I find, I shall kill you"
Jesus - "...For my next miracle, I'm gonna turn water into Funk!"
Jennifer - "All the guys here have been castrated...it's cool"
Stewie - "...I've gone and soiled myself, are you happy now?"
Peter - "...You did not want the one with Al Roker and the Hersey Kiss nipples"
Stewie - "...Oh, I'm sorry, we're fresh out of that."
Stewie - "...It's a boy!"

Episode 104 - Mind Over Murder

Stewie - "...I'm in seering pain!"
Stewie - "I order you to kill me at once"
Stewie - "...Shake me like a British nanny"
Peter - "If you guys were beers, I would drink everyone of you..."
Peter - "...Give me back my sock, you goat bastard!"
Stewie - "...Damn it to the bowls of bloody Hell"
Peter - "...Howabout a little Me Time?"
Peter - "Boo Lois, Yeah Beer!"
Peter - "...You mean, "Give he's going into labor"..."
Bert & Ernie - "...I wish you wouldn't drink so much Bert..."
Peter - "...Actually, I need about 600"
Stewie - "...Put me down..."
Stewie - "Good God man, one can only imagine..."
Stewie - "I've broken my pencil..."
Stewie - "Hello Mother, care to partake in one of your, oh so exhilarating games of peekaboo?"
Meg - "Oh my God, my baby is drunk!..."
Stewie - "..Oh, you're so observant aren't you, are you a detective?"
Quagmire - "Now, that's a woman..."
Stewie - "...It's a pheasant!"
Stewie - "...You shall rue this day..."
Meg - "Bye Bye Stewie..."
Stewie's Tooth - "I'm free! Free!..."

Episode 105 - A Hero sits Next Door

Stewie - "Yes, yes, again! Once more!"
Stewie - "Thank you, when the world is mine, your death will be quick and painless"
Brian - "...Don't flatter yourself honey, I don't have any sweat glands"
Peter - "What was the name of the bad guy from Tron..."
Stewie - "...You will bow to me!"
Peter - "...Man, you guys are like viruses..."
Peter - "...uh, me love you long time."
Brian - "Gosh, I'd love to help you Peter, but I've got to go out in the hall and chew on my ass for five minutes."
Ball Players - ...Now you're addicted to heiroin..."
Peter - "Holy Crip, He's a Crapple!"
Stewie - "...Go cyborg!"
Stewie - "...I shall take the information by force."
Peter - "Jesus loves me, he loves me a bunch, because he always puts Skippy in my lunch"
Meg - "...Shutup you big sack of dog vomit!"
Robber - "I rob banks because a deaf man stole my job at the phone company."
Joe's son - "...I AM NOT A ROBOT..."

Episode 106 - The Son Also Draws

Stewie - Oh, blasted matriarch, she's failed once again to fill this box with potations"
Stewie - "...What I just witnessed is ghastlier than a thousand ghouls!"
Stewie - "That is a violent and odious lie..."
Stewie - "Get out you horrible woman, Get Out!"
Happy Days - "Mom, Dad, I really like Potsie..."
Peter - "...And then I'd laugh because I said, "cum"
Meg - "Chris, get out of here. You're not allowed in my room..."
Speed Racer - "Speed, I do not think you should be in this rase, HA HA..."
Peter - "...Three days!?! That's tomorrow, we gotta get goin."
Stewie - "Ooh Jello, how exotic..."
WASPs - "...Patty, did you know that your mother is a whore?"
Stewie - "...Plays Wheels on the Bus and get the hell out of my sight."
Peter - "...Geez, haven't you ever seen a standup comedian, Lois?"
Stewie - "Oh very funny, now tell the one that doesn't suck..."
Peter - "...I just need to go back into the Casino and find a high roller who will pay a million dollars to sleep with my wife"
Peter - "...They have no idea what things are worth."
Peter - "...Ofcourse I do, I'm an Indian..."
Peter - "Oh my God, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabets..."
Stewie - "They're dead, you know"
Peter - "Hey tree, if one of you falls and there's no one around, do you make a noise?..."
Peter - "...Did you ever get a sexual disease?..."
Peter - "I didn't know anyone in this family had any talent..."
Indian - "...But what is the price of our souls?..."
Peter - "...Canada sucks"

Episode 106 - Brian: Portrait of a Dog

Stewie - "There, see what you made me do? Do you think I enjoy hitting you...?
Stewie - "...Will you be prancing when, uh, there's nothing to prance about...?"
Stewie - "...Dirty, dirty girl"
Chris - "I think I saw one of her nipples!"
Stewie - "I say, am I to strut about all day like a begger-child on the streets of Calcutta...?"
Chris - "...Yeah, well you're hogging up all of the Ugly!"
Peter - "...What is diarhea..."
M&M - "...Lady, for God's sake, I'm just a hard-shelled chocolate candy. Get help!"
Stewie - "...Yes, and get the lead out, Pudgy!"
Stewie - "...That mongrel is probably decomposing on the side of the street as we speak."
Stewie - "Let's get a kitty!"
Peter - "I now command you to leave..."
Commercial - "Mom, have you ever had a problem with freshness...?"
Pop'n Fresh - "Nothin says I love you like...aaah! What the hell are you doing you crazy bit-"
Peter - "...I could've sworn his favorite was treat Peter like crap buns"
Brian - "...Uhh, my blind guy is in the John..."
Lois - "...I've been making counterfit ten dollar bills for years."

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